Single
You take a shower.
First few years with the most amazing love of your life.
YOU ARE IN LOVE!!! Oh my god. Showering together is the MUST DO in your daily lives. You jump in not worried about the humdrum of just trying to get clean, you are the first voyagers in a new sexual frontier. You are going to fuck like bunnies. EVERY DAY, EVERY CHANCE YOU GET, ESPECIALLY IN THE SHOWER!
(Now unless, as a man, you are built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and are lucky enough to have a girlfriend the size of Kate Moss (damn skinny crack-hoes) its nigh on impossible to really do anything where the man sweeps you up off your feet and backs you up against the shower wall. Real women know this, don't we girls? Movies with this insane death-defying act can kiss my white ass. It becomes even more interesting if you are more than an inch shorter or taller than your partner. Things really don't fit that well. So unless you invested in one of those wonderful built in shower seats (if its not bolted down, please don't try this at home... it can get ugly, and possibly deadly. I'm a nurse... I should know ;), getting a little nooky in the shower is at least sexually entertaining enough, and sort of like watching two octopuses trying to mud wrestle.)
But you don't give a shit. You love each other and your partner turns you on just by looking at you. And BY GOD! You will get some every chance you get. Shower included. And it is AWESOME! (and the UP-SIDE is that you get to wash it all off right there. YA for us girls)
After a while....
So while you really don't go at it so much anymore, you do start to notice that showering together has the added perk of being quite efficient. Who wants to be second in the shower, when it involves a two second scrub before all the hot water is gone. And now that you're not so busy trying to emulate trapeze artists, you get to talk and share and have those lovey-dovey conversations. The quiet time away from the kids. You blast the scalding water, cuddling together, hugging each other, working in the necessity of washing your hair and scrubbing your body. But it's pleasant and you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
LATER....
GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. OF. MY. SHOWER!
I'm standing in the back of the shower freezing my fucking ass off, while you take your sweet fucking time under the hot shower head. I have fucking RT and the goddamn hot water is spraying down on you, turning into ice as it bounces off and lands on my face. I need to get ready to go to work, and here I am shivering like a fucking penguin. I just want to take a fucking shower... BY MYSELF! With hot fucking water! And not the two second ice-ejaculation version after I've been nice enough to let you take a shower FIRST. And then you repay me by using all the GOD-DAMN HOT WATER!
I'm sooooooo going to flush the toilet on you the next time you're in here!!!
REPEATEDLY.
Single
You take a shower.
